When my husband and I first met, I was stationed with the military in his hometown. We met at a young adult event at the church we were attending, and after a few months of dating, the military sent me overseas to Southeast Asia. We continued dating long-distance, learning quickly how to communicate, trust the Lord, and remain committed even when we were far apart. Just over a year later, we married. Our wedding story is a blog post in itself for another day!
Two days after the wedding, he returned with me overseas and began serving as the Interim Children’s Director at the off-base church I was attending. Sharing this experience together as newlyweds was both exciting and frustrating. Not only were we trying to figure out married life, we were also learning how to live and serve in ministry together at the same time. We were building a home while pouring ourselves into the church, often without realizing how much those two worlds would overlap. However, through that season, the Lord was kind to teach us important, life-long lessons about ministry, marriage, and real life. Let me share a few of those with you.
Lesson #1 — Behind the Scenes of a Bilingual Children’s Ministry
As the Interim Children’s Director, my husband was responsible for leading, organizing, and coordinating Children’s Sunday School and church-wide children-focused events. Unlike Sunday School in the States, many of the students joining us on Sunday morning did not speak English. However, their parents saw our class as an opportunity for their children to “practice” English, so our seats were filled each week with beautiful children that we could not easily communicate with.
At times, this felt overwhelming. We had lessons prepared, songs planned, and activities ready, but our students could not understand. Praise the Lord for the few bilingual children who were familiar with the local language and could help translate when needed. Even in those small moments, we saw the Lord provide exactly what we needed.
And yet, what stood out the most was not what we lacked, but what God was doing in spite of it. Those children still learned about Jesus and experienced His love, joy, and care. It was a powerful reminder that God’s Spirit is not limited by language barriers or cultural differences. The gospel is not dependent on perfect communication or polished delivery. Scripture reminds us that it is the Spirit who gives life (John 6:63), and we saw glimpses of that each Sunday.
Lesson #2 — The Tension Between Ministry and Family Time
Regardless of the context, it is well known within ministry circles that there is often tension between ministry responsibilities and family life. In my husband’s new role, we quickly experienced that tension firsthand. We learned what many call the “squeeze” that ministry families feel as they try to balance the call to serve others with the responsibility to care for their own home.
At the time, I was working full-time as a military servicemember, and my only consistent day off was Saturday. Unfortunately, Saturday was also the de facto day for children’s ministry events since most parents were available on weekends. Soon we found ourselves in a cycle of wanting to rest and spend time together as newlyweds, but also feeling the weight of responsibility to be present for the ministry. This tension was not unique to us and many members of our ministry team felt the same thing. They loved the church and wanted to serve faithfully, but they also had families, responsibilities, and limitations.
Through this, the Lord began teaching us an important lesson: faithfulness in ministry does not mean saying yes to everything. It requires wisdom, communication, and at times, difficult decisions. Looking back, we see how easy it would have been to neglect our relationship in the name of serving others. But Scripture reminds us of the importance of caring for our own household (1 Timothy 3:5), and we had to begin learning how to live that out in real time.
Lesson #3 — Leaving and Cleaving
Genesis 2:24 tells us, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Moving overseas two days after our wedding was the clearest picture of “leaving and cleaving” we could have imagined.
In some ways, it felt like an abrupt departure. One moment we were surrounded by family and celebration in the States, and the next day we were on the other side of the world building a new life together. But in hindsight, that season was an incredible blessing.
Without the constant presence of family and familiar routines, we were able to grow together in a unique way. We had to learn how to communicate, how to make decisions, and how to establish our own rhythms as a married couple. We developed shared goals, built new habits, and leaned on one another in ways we might not have if we had remained close to home. Most importantly, we learned to depend on the Lord together.
Looking Back
These are just a few of the many lessons we learned during our time serving overseas. That season shaped both our marriage and our understanding of ministry in ways we could not have fully appreciated at the time. It taught us that God works throughout the various seasons of our lives and brings forth blessings that are unexpected.
I look forward to sharing more of those stories with you in the future.
In Christ